My fantasy football home league, the great UCFL, in its 16th year of glory, has always played for cash and a trophy. The champ gets his name (or her name – we had a lady play with us once) engraved on a bronze plate and attached to the trophy’s base. He takes it home for a year, and well, we don’t know what he does with it. We added a fantasy football championship belt to the booty pile a few years ago. My league mates received it with a chorus of hallelujahs – Kendall would want me to note he wasn’t in favor of it and said he’ll pawn it if he wins. We’re not too worried about it. However, if you have a home league or thinking about starting a fantasy football league, by all means, strap on a belt! Here are five reasons why your league needs a fantasy football championship belt.
Top 5 Reasons Your League Needs a Fantasy Football Championship Belt
1 – Pride and Preeminence
Your fantasy football champion battled 17 weeks through player injuries, bye weeks, trade negotiations, psychological warfare, and countless hours of smack talk to mount the hill as your fantasy king. The cash is nice, but men, we know who’s spending it, right? Then what are we left with? A big, flashy gold belt from Fantasy Jocks is what your fantasy champion deserves! They can sport it at Outback, the country club, poker night, church bingo, wherever, and show the world they were dominant at something.
2 – Preservation of the Record
You’ll create a fantastic league that will last for generations. Is it fair to forget the legendary forerunners who made the league great? The champ gets his name engraved on a bronze plate you order yearly from Fantasy Jocks, and it’s on the belt forever. Future generations in your league will see your name on the belt long after you’re crocheting blankets at the old folk’s home. The younger guys in the great UCFL say, “this Forbis guy must’ve been pretty good. His name is on the trophy three times.” Yeah, Forbis wasn’t terrible, and his name lives on.
3 – Promotion of the League Brand
Make your fantasy football league famous. Create a destination spot with people lining up to get into it. People will inevitably leave your league, and you’ll need replacements. Even the great UCFL has lost members. Three former champs are gone, plus guys I can’t remember. The UCFL wasn’t always great, but we’ve stepped up the game recently, and the belt was one way. Our guys love the league and talk it up with their buddies. Quality replacements aren’t hard to find now.
4 – Professional Advancement
Can you think of a better LinkedIn profile picture than one with the fantasy football championship belt draped over your shoulder? Me neither. Splash the pic on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and everywhere. Your fantasy championship tells employers and customers a lot about you:
- You’re committed, hardworking, and strategic
- You don’t buckle under pressure
- You have mad negotiating skills
- You possess elite skills in assessing and evaluating talent
- You can analyze and interpret events and data to make winning decisions
Hell, winning a fantasy football championship is the secret to your best life now. But you need a belt as proof.
5 – Publicity for the Champ
Your fantasy football champion has 365 days to flaunt his dominance throughout your league. If he’s the humble type who wouldn’t do precisely that, he shouldn’t be in your league. Humility has no place in fantasy football. A fantasy football championship belt from Fantasy Jocks is the perfect weapon to launch against your loser league mates.
You’re eating dinner at Ruth’s Chris with your league-winning cash, and you snap a pic of the belt lying on the table next to your ribeye. Send the pic to the league.
You’re sitting on the beach, drinking an umbrella concoction, and your belt is on the cooler next to you. Snap a pic and send it to the losers.
Your hot wife is wearing the belt while fanning you with a palm leaf and feeding you grapes. Your league mates need to see it!
You’re living your best life, and the haters are at home hating. The fantasy football championship belt is a constant reminder of the fantasy king for the year.
A Fantasy Football Championship Belt Saves the Day
We need fantasy football right now. The world’s a tough place, beating the hell out of us. Your league is about more than fantasy football. Your league is a place for guys to unload, kick their shoes off, pop a top, and compete and talk trash about a sport they love with 11 like-minded people. Escape the swirling chaos in the world for a while and focus on fun. A fantasy football championship belt builds a better escape room.
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