It’s been a busy, surprising offseason in the NFL with head coaches’ heads rolling and players bouncing around to different teams. With much of the dust settled, except for the NFL draft later this month and Cam Newton landing a job, it’s time to start thinking about fantasy football again. The offseason is short for serious fantasy players like me and you. Today we’ll look at the big player moves and what they mean to your fantasy football season this year. If you’ve never played fantasy football, what ya waiting on?
NFL Trades Relevant to Your Fantasy Football Season
Tom Brady Never Said the Word “Retire”
One of the biggest moves was actually a non-move. The GOAT Tom Brady didn’t retire. Did the man ever use the words “retire” or “retirement” in his announcement? Well, he’s back, but he never left. Yes, it’s confusing. It’s Tom Brady.
But fantasy football players, Buccaneers’ wide receivers, along with the city of Tampa Bay, are thrilled Brady decided not to spend so much time with family. Last season Brady was the oldest player in the NFL at 44 years old, yet he led all quarterbacks in passing, young and old alike. He passed for 300 more yards and 5 more touchdowns than the young stud, Justin Herbert, who finished in second place. Herbert also threw 3 more passes to the other team than Brady did.
The GOAT is still the GOAT and should be a top 5 QB off the draft board. Godwin and Evans remain fantasy stud receivers. The rising tide of Brady lifts all Bucs offensive ball handlers.
Ride the Broncos, Swat the Seahawks
One quarterback did fly 1304.9 miles to a new team. Russell Wilson gave up on the Seahawks’ promise to provide him an offensive line and flew the coop to become a Bronco. It’s ridiculous really. A team with a perennial top 5 QB insists on shopping for blockers at the Dollar General.
Good for Denver. Bad for Seattle. Upgrade all Bronco wide receivers. Downgrade all Seahawks. Who’s even going to throw the ball for Seattle this year? Exactly.
Look in the dictionary for “irony” and you’ll see a picture of John Elway. The man started 16 seasons at QB for Denver, played in 5 Super Bowls, won 2 of them, and is in the Hall of Fame. Yet as a management executive for 12 years, he can’t draft a half-ass quarterback. Ironic, right?
Elway once bought an aging quarterback in the twilight of his career and this quarterback took the Broncos to the Super Bowl. But in another demonstration of irony, this Bronco QB, Peyton Manning, was rode hard and hung up wet in the big game by none other than Russell Wilson and the Seahawks 43-8.
Folks, I can’t make this stuff up. Maybe Elway developed a huge Russ man crush during the game.
I love Wilson and hope he’s wildly successful in Denver. With Jerry Jeudy, Courtland Sutton, KJ Hamler, and Tim Patrick as WR targets, Wilson should be a top-flight fantasy QB, and all his receivers win upgrades. Don’t be afraid of Jeudy and Sutton as WR2s. I mean, hey, last year they had Teddy Bridgewater (who’s not starting anywhere this year). Sutton previously suffered through Drew Lock, Joe Flacco, and Case Keenum. Russ will be like a god to him.
The Colts Are Still Unlucky at Quarterback
I remember the exact moment Andrew Luck retired as the Indianapolis Colts starting quarterback. It was August 24, 2019, about 30 seconds after I put him on my fantasy draft board. My league mate butthole Bobby laughed and held up his Twitter machine announcing, “Luck just retired!”
The moment was a bad one for me, but the Colts have suffered many bad QB moments since then. Jacoby Brissett, old man Philip Rivers, and Carson Wentz. Who’s making these decisions?
Whoever it is, he or she still doesn’t care about your fantasy season, and apparently, they don’t care about Indianapolis, either. This person hired soon-to-be 37-year-old QB, Matt Ryan. Ryan’s had a solid career with the help of someone by the name of Julio, but he’s an immobile old quarterback with no Julio. Maybe the Colts are playing for the number one pick in the 2023 draft. Pass on Ryan and all Colts’ wide receivers.
The Ryan-less Falcons traded for Marcus Mariota. Enough said. Avoid all Falcons.
Your Fantasy Football Team Should By-pass Washington
In a “how in the hell did they pull that off” moment, the Colts traded Carson Wentz to Washington for draft picks. Word on the street is that Indy would’ve taken three McDonalds’ Big Mac coupons for Wentz. Maybe two. Start your grandmother at fantasy wide receiver before you play one wearing a Washington jersey. I’m aware that Terry McLaurin truthers are screaming at me, but I’ll risk being wrong on this one. It’s hard to bet on a franchise commanded by idiots.
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain
The Dynamic Duo Disintegrates (and it’s bad for fantasy football)
The Aaron Rodgers/Green Bay love spat appears to be over and that’s great news for Green Bay pass catchers. The question is, can you trust any of them? I was shocked when the Davante Adams trade was announced. Honestly, I thought if Rodgers forced a trade, he’d take Adams with him. They were Barney and Fred, Lone Ranger and Tonto, beer and wings. I’m not sure either player will love the results. Green Bay may take a receiver high in the draft, but right now their number one is Allen Lazard. Are you taking Rodgers as a top 5 QB? I’m not.
I know Adams and Raiders QB Derek Carr are former college roommates and teammates, but Carr is no Aaron Rodgers. Reuniting might’ve seemed like a jolly good time, but maybe they should’ve done that over Tomahawk ribeyes and whiskey and not on the field. We’ll see how it goes. I guess you can upgrade Carr to the top 12-14. Adams has to take a hit, but he’ll still be in the top 5-7.
Kansas City Trades Tyreek Hill to Miami – really???
Tyreek “The Freak” Hill to Miami was a shock, but after reading the Chiefs’ side of the story, it makes sense for their future. Mahomes will still be Mahomes and make plays. Don’t sweat him. We’ll find out if Tyreek can still be the freak when he has a quarterback who can’t scramble and make up crap on the fly and sling it 70 yards with laser accuracy. The more interesting storyline is if Tyreek can survive the season amidst the alluring glittery neon glow of Miami nightlife. I’m passing on Hill at the insane price my foolish league mates will pay for him. Upgrade Tua, but really, you’re a little Tua desperate if you’re starting him.
Does Juju Still Have Juice?
A winner in the Kansas City wide receiver shuffle is Juju Smith-Schuster who was acquired from Pittsburgh. In a Tiktok post, Juju exclaimed, “Finally, a top 25 QB!” That’s not true, but should be. We’ll get to see if Juju can still play. I’ll take a shot at him catching passes from Pattycakes.
DeShaun Watson to the Browns (sounds about right)
The Cleveland Browns mortgaged their future on alleged serial sex offender, DeShaun Watson. Watson has 22 active lawsuits against him and could face an NFL suspension. Would you mortgage your fantasy football team’s season for him?
Wide receive Amari Cooper left the steady hands of Dak Prescott to risk the biscuit in Cleveland. If Watson plays, it’s a solid move. Who else will Watson hit downfield? Otherwise, Coop is banking on Jacoby Brissett. Keep your fantasy team out of the loop on Coop.
Good Players Traded to Good Teams, Finally
The longer subtitle was, “Two Really Good Players Perpetually on Crappy Teams Get Traded to Good Teams, Finally”, but that’s a little too long for Google. Nonetheless, I’m excited for these guys and I’m sure they are, also, yet their trades flew under the radar. I receive more fanfare for mowing my grass than these two guys did for their trades.
The trades involve two of my favorite wide receivers who’ve played in football purgatory much of their careers. In a heavenly act of mercy, the Chicago Bears traded the talented Allen Robinson to the Rams. After 8 pro years of playing in Jacksonville and Chicago, Robinson finally gets a quarterback in Matthew Stafford who’s worthy of his talents. Give me some ARob this year.
The other player I can’t way to see play in a new jersey is Jamison Crowder(now that’s funny right there. New jersey/New York Jets play in New Jersey. But it’s not as funny if I have to explain it). Anyway, Crowder is a local favorite. He played high school in my hometown of Monroe, NC, and college at Duke. Crowder had Kirk Cousins throwing him the ball between 2015-2018, but it was with the dismal Washington team(sorry, I refuse to say their new team name). Then from 2019 to 2021, he played for the Jets. Crowder is a fine, talented young man who deserves better than the Jets. Thank God the Buffalo Bills saved him. I’m here for it. Let’s get louder with Crowder. Snag him in the last round for free.
More Fantasy Football News and Opinions to Come
Our motto here is to give you the best fantasy advice so you can bull rush your competition and win in fantasy football. We’ll be doing it all season with articles several times a week. We take our own advice, so we’ll win or die with you. Check back periodically or subscribe. The articles will start trickling in and hit full steam in August.
At the close of this article, Cam Newton is still a free agent, but rumor has it Arizona is interested. Maybe the Cardinals’ mighty mouse experiment with Kyler Murray has run its course.
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