Fantasy Football Sucks

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Indeed, fantasy football sucks and can be utterly frustrating. Read the analysis, study the stats and matchups, scour the waiver wire, execute good trades, check the dingdangit weather forecasts for all your games, and otherwise stick to good processes, and still that no-good-for-nothing Murphy and his law hijacks and crushes your hopes and dreams. Let me explain.

Last night, 6-2 Baltimore Ravens traveled Deep South to take on the hapless 2-6 Miami Dolphins. My fantasy football roster includes Ravens QB Lamar Jackson and Dolphins TE Mike Gesicki, as well as Steelers TE Pat Freiermuth. So I had a decision to make – Mike or Pat? No decision was needed for Lamar who averages over 24 points a game. Just start the man, right? So back to Mike or Pat.

I followed good process. The Steelers are playing the completely defeated 0-8 Detroit Lions at home which I assume could be a huge run game for Steelers RB Najee Harris. Pittsburg is probably not going to be in a must-pass game. Miami on the other hand should be slinging the ball all night up and down the shoreline. I also checked with my go-to fantasy football website for rankings, analysis, and stats, (that’s a secret – don’t tell my league mates). They agreed with my analysis and ranked Magic Mike as TE #6 on the week with a projection of 10.6 fantasy points and Pat with 9.5 points. Let’s ride the wave with Mike.

(Cue up sinister music as Murphy enters stage right)

So, the process was solid. Gesicki got 7 targets which led the entire team. It feels good to be right, but wait, Murphy has entered the scene, remember? Magic Mike couldn’t find a rabbit to pull out of his helmet and his 7 targets yielded 0 catches. Yes, 7 targets, 0 catches, 0 fantasy points. I have no idea how that is even possible and can’t remember if I’ve ever started a player who played the whole game and scored zero fantasy points. 

But we still have Lamar, right? He was the highest projected scoring QB coming into week 10. Surely, he can juke and jive my way out of this TE mess. He has saved many fantasy football teams from certain doom many times. But no, because fantasy football sucks, remember? Lamar put up Sam Darnold numbers with 15.42 points and Miami put a surprise shellacking on the Ravens 22-10. I imagine that the city of Miami didn’t sleep at all last night.

So, this is why I hate fantasy football and why fantasy football sucks. I entered week 10 as a 120-108 favorite over my opponent Get Buncy and now I’m a 99.6 to 108 projected loser. Sometimes hard work, attention to detail, sound logic, and good processes just are not enough to combat old man Murphy and the fate of the fantasy gods. But will I quit as I have written about before? No, I’ll just get back to the grind and hope that Murphy visits Get Buncy before the weekend is over.

Oh, I almost forgot. I did have the Dolphin’s defense on my bench ready to start them over the next 3 weeks against the Jets, Panthers, Giants and after their bye, the Jets again. There’s not a sane person alive who would’ve started them against the Ravens. But fantasy football isn’t for the sane. The Dolphin’s defense scored more than Lamar with their 17.4 points rotting on my bench.

I hate fantasy football.

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